The Sailor's Stories

2047 Chapter one – Book II

with 9 comments

Just like it had done for countless millions of years…, the sun dawned on a whole new day. Of course with his eyes closed, there wasn’t much to see of it yet, but he did know it was there at least…, he could feel it. Could feel the warmth of it’s sweet kiss, as it made it’s way further and further towards him. For the time being, he was safe, it hadn’t gotten very far yet, but it was only a matter of time and he held his eyes closed as long as he could, almost willing the sun to go away. As it stands though, one person wasn’t enough to hold back the awesome power that the sun possessed that morning, and in a last act of defiance he pulled the covers up as far as he could to block it out.

Finally, after what seemed an entire age to him, and with not a little bit of trepidation, he opened his eyes just a crack and saw the light that leaked through the heavy curtains. To his complete lack of surprise, he was greeted with wispy rays of dust and light playing havoc across the room…, but most annoyingly across his face. Satisfied that the world was still there as he knew it, he closed his eyes again, hoping in a futile effort to drift back to sleep. That however, wasn’t to be, and before a conscious thought could even make it’s way through his mind, he just knew that this day was going to be a good one…, he was never one to waste a good day.

He had woken too early though, and he knew it, unfortunately for him he was just one of those people. The kind that, once awake, was fully awake. He never wanted to be, or even tried to be, it was just one of those things, no matter how hard he fought against it. But then, even if he hadn’t been one of those people, that morning the cold and a more pressing need would have seen him soundly awake anyway. Being awake didn’t mean that he had to get up though, and the truth of the matter, was that he simply didn’t really want to be. He was far too comfortable in the position that he’d found himself in, to even begin to consider getting out of that nice warm bed.

Besides, from what he could feel so far, the sun was just warming up…, and it wasn’t really going anywhere anyway. Kind of unseasonably though, he thought, but then what else would you expect after a day like yesterday. His excitement about that fact was growing steadily, because of course, that meant time out in the snow, with all the fun and merriment that that would entail. After all, and after everything he’d been through in his life, he was still a boy at heart. And all boys, no matter how old they are, just love to play in snow.

The rays of sunlight still cutting straight lines across his young face may have been warm, but they did done nothing to increase the ambient temperature in the room. Even with just his eyes and a hand above the covers of the soft bed he was lying in, he could feel the arctic-like freeze. Risking the cold a little bit at a time, he turned his head over to take a brief glance at the clock on the night stand…, 0645…, too damn early, he thought, as he snuggled back into the warm. Armed with that knowledge, and the sense of an upcoming lazy day, he resolved to stay in bed for as long as he could.

For some people being awake that early in the morning, could be both a boon and a curse. He’d always thought of it as a curse where he was involved, but only because it meant that he’d have to face the day, fear and concern had been his watchwords back then. It’s not that he didn’t like to be awake, he did have a lot of fun, and was able to enjoy most of what the day had to offer…, he just couldn’t handle some of what was going on around him…, and within him. Over the last few months though, he was definitely starting to see the other side of it, he still had a lot going on in his head, but not a bit of it was consumed with the fear of discovery.

With about ten minutes to beat the alarm, instead of letting it blare out, he reached over and switched it off. In doing so, he realized that, his thoughts that morning weren’t bad ones…, well…, not yet anyway. Oh sure, he did still have them from time to time, but he hadn’t woken with too many of those lately at all and for that he was happy…, at least he thought he was happy. For a while there, happy wasn’t an emotion he was all that familiar with, but like everything else about him…, over time that too was changing. Mind you if he really thought hard about it, almost all of his thoughts hadn’t really been bad ones for several months, and though he’d taken a while to accept it, he did understand that that was because of the person lying next to him, still blissfully asleep.

A year ago, if someone had told him that he would have the best and the worst year of his life…, he would have thought that that someone was probably a little loose in the head. If they had gone on to tell him he’d be waking up next to his lover every morning, he would have been excited. But then if they’d told him that his lover would be another guy…, he probably would’ve decked them. It’s funny how these things work out, and he knew that the person he was a year ago was no longer the one he was now, on that very beautiful winter morning, the day after Christmas. His immediate need though he realized, was becoming more and more pressing and he could no longer comfortably ignore it, so reluctantly he extricated himself gently from his lovers arms and made his way to the bathroom.

Washing his hands, still feeling the sense of euphoria that that particular early morning exercise entails, he looked deeply at himself in the mirror. To the casual observer, there really wasn’t that much difference there from a year ago. Or at least he couldn’t see one, but then, he wasn’t overly sure that he could recognize himself either. The hair was the same, the eyes still a soft and inviting brown…, and when he tried on a smile, he could see that it was still strong. His soft almost olive skin tone was there, and still not even a hint of a blemish. The thing that he couldn’t figure though, was that there was something new there and he wasn’t quite sure what it was for a minute until it hit him square in the face…, it was there for all the world to see if they would just look. He didn’t just feel happy…, he was happy.

To look at him, you would consider him attractive and in his weaker moments, the ones where he let his guard down, he did too. But what he was sure of, was that he couldn’t see what others saw in him. Growing up, for years he never had anyone to tell him how good he looked, or that they were proud of him, no real affirmation that he was even doing ok as a human being…, he was just there. Years of that kind of treatment had a way of beating you down, and that’s what he usually saw when he looked in the mirror…, a beaten down sad little kid. That had all changed almost eight months ago, and he definitely wasn’t used to it. Having said that though, it’s not like he didn’t want people to love and care for him…, he did, and desperately, he just wasn’t sure how to handle it. Hugs were one of his most favourite things, but that was something he had only recently found out. Then there was the fact that he was in love.

Padding softly back into the bedroom, he looked upon his love from afar…, well at least as far as it is from the window anyway. The window, or at least the window ledge that is, was a favourite spot of his in the morning, with the rising sun there to warm his back. He was always an early riser, and always awake far before his lover. That morning was no different, and he took that time to rest his butt on the ledge and watch him sleep. Usually he would run in the morning, but since the snows had set in, he’d canned that idea. He had tried for the first few days, but it soon became too hard to breath in the cold, and when it started to hurt was when he thought better of it. So instead, every morning, he sat at that window and wondered, until his lover started to wake up.

It wasn’t just mornings either, sometimes at night he would be startled awake, from a bad dream or a foreign noise, and do the very same thing. He’d found out early on in the piece, that watching his lover sleep, could be a very pleasing pastime…, not to mention the fact that it also afforded him some unfettered time to think things through. When his lover slept, he slept the sleep of one content with his place in the world…., someone who didn’t have a care in that world, and slept peacefully because he was loved. It always gave him a smile to know that he was at least a little responsible for that. Most nights that seemed to be enough for him, before the blissful arms of Morpheus took him away again. But it was times like these, when he had no chance of going back to sleep, that his mind really ran rampant.

Sitting there in his flannel pj’s, his arms at his side, hands resting against the ledge for balance, he couldn’t think of a time that he’d been happier. He was in love, even though he really didn’t have a good idea of what that was. It’s not that he didn’t know love, he just wasn’t sure how it could fit into the relationship between two guys. Growing up he knew that something was different, but he had never even entertained the thought that he was gay…, especially in his household. Looking back now though, try as he might to have avoided it, he just couldn’t get past the lie that that really was. He was gay, and over the last few months he had come to accept it, but it took the boy lying there in that bed to really pull him out of his shell. The boy that was starting to stir.

He could see him moving slightly, like he always does, see the start of the stretch that signaled that he was waking up. Pretty soon would come the yawn, and by the time he got to his side of the bed, the contented smile that always greeted the day, just before his beautiful emerald green eyes opened. He made it back into bed, having timed it just right, and was lying there, his head resting against his propped up arm, just in time to brush the gorgeously soft blond hair from his lovers face as his eyes opened…

“Good morning…” He smiled.

“MMMmmm…, Good morning…, cousin!” Dale said with a yawn, and another stretch.

The yawn was genuine, but the stretch was only half so, though it did provide the perfect opportunity for Dale to wrap his arms around his lover, in a brief but heartfelt hug. The gesture was sweet, and not all that uncommon…, so much so that young Carl was well used to it by now. Well at least, to accept it in the spirit with which it was offered. The ‘Cousin’ comment though, that was another thing entirely…, it was flippant and meant in good spirits…, he knew that. Unfortunately for Carl though, because of it, he had a sudden rush of panic. He knew that it was only on paper, but the law was the law, and he wasn’t sure that he knew what to do about it. His reaction had been immediate and tense, so much so that Dale was instantly aware of his boyfriend…

“Dude what is it…, what’s wrong…?” He said, rolling over to fully face Carl, wiping some sleep from his eye.

“No…, nothing…, nothing Dale…, I’m just being stupid.”

“Baby…, you’re a lot of things…, but stupid ain’t one of them.” Dale returned with a cheeky grin.

“Isn’t one of them..”

“See…, told ya you weren’t stupid…, now tell me what’s wrong…”

Could he tell him though, Carl had some very real concerns about the whole thing, but could he make Dale understand how he felt. Carl loved Dale, more than anyone could possibly imagine, but was it enough? If he had to think about it, there was a top five list of all time great things that had happened in his life…, winning the little league championship was one, flying was another…, but the two stand outs, was coming to live with Cam and the twins, and the first time that Dale had told him that he loved him. Of those two, Carl wasn’t sure where they fit in the five, but if it was anywhere, he thought they’d probably be placed equal at number one. How then would he be able to cope if had to give up either, or worse…, both.

Opening those adoption papers yesterday, his heart had soared to previously unknown heights. Never before had he been so happy, he was in a real home, one where he was truly loved because of who he was, not what he was. The mere fact that he was gay, had never mattered to Cam and the twins. Well ok…, it mattered to Dale, but that wasn’t for any bad reasons. Now though, legally at least…, he was Dale’s cousin, so what did that mean for their relationship? Could they be both, or was his world about to shatter again? He couldn’t even begin to understand it himself, let alone explain it to Dale.

Maybe if he’d been alone he could’ve figured it all out, or at least spoken to Cam or Caleb, he even had the perfect opportunity the night before, but he’d not even thought about it. Well, not until the Greens had gone home anyway, not until Corey had started to call him ‘Cousin’ had it really sunk in. The problem was, was that that he wasn’t alone, Dale was lying there right in front of him, the object of his love and desires for longer than he cared to remember. He was so beautiful to Carl, loving, caring, sincere…, and waiting.

“Cousins…, pretty weird huh?”

“Nope…, not to me…, wait…, that’s it isn’t it…, it’s just paper…, I still love you Carl that’s not gonna change.”

“I love you too…” Carl replied, staring straight into his lovers eyes, and brushing that stray blond lock of hair again, “More than you could know…, but what if it’s not our choice?”

“Uncle Cam wouldn’t have done it, if he’d thought it’d cause us problems dude…, trust me, he loves us…, what he did, he did for you and him…”

“Ya think?”

“I know…, but now I’m hungry…, come on…, let’s go see what’s for breakfast.”

He still wasn’t sure, and Dale could see it. It was like a beacon that could draw attention from other galaxies, but he was determined. Even if it took an act of congress, Dale knew one thing, and that was…, one way or another…, he’d sort it out.

*          *          *

There was someone else in that house that was accustomed to waking early, but just like Carl, had eschewed his early morning run because of the cold. That didn’t stop him exercising however, he had a home gym set up in the garage for that very reason. With a three mile stationary bike ride, and three sets of fifty reps on the weight machine under his belt, Cam felt ready to attack the day. And with the endorphins coursing through his system he jogged silently up the stairs to the shower that he was so looking forward too. Last night had been full of strange twists and turns, and he’d needed that workout to get at least some of it out of his system.

When he reached his bedroom, he noted with satisfaction that the central heating had finally kicked in. Slipping out of his tank-top and gym shorts, he strolled unashamedly naked through the room to his attached bath. He was still on high from the workout, but it took the hot water streaming down his back to realize that that wasn’t the only thing he was happy about. He’d finally done it, he’d made Carl a proper part of the family. Just the smile on his face the day before was reward enough for Cam, not that he’d been looking for one in the first place, but he couldn’t deny how happy that smile had made him. It was kinda an odd feeling when Carl had called him ‘Dad’, but then he’d only done that that one time.

Thinking about it, it had taken some time to warm up to the kid. He couldn’t ever forget about what he had done to Dale, that last day of the school year before summer break, and the vile names that he’d used against his boy, but at least now he understood it. That night coming home from the cove wasn’t the first time they’d met, and he realized that Carl was a very sad lonely kid up till that point. In fact, if he really thought about it, Carl had been around for years, but always on the fringe. He and the twins had shared almost their whole life together, there was little league, the swim team…, and of course school. But Carl was never part of the ‘In-Crowd’, not like the other two, he was always on the outside, and not even that desperate to look in. Something else Cam understood, was that that afternoon was the defining point of Carl’s young life.

Over the past months, Cam had learned just why Carl had acted the way he did. He had a strong willed and near abusive ex-marine for a father, and three brothers that didn’t even appear to know he was there. The poor kid had no idea, and was just spouting off what he thought he should’ve. It was the dear of his home life that had driven him to make those comments. Because of that treatment, he was a hard kid to get to know, but once you did he could definitely surprise you. Carl had a certain gentle tenderness to him, and a soft loving side that had just been screaming to get out. It took the right environment to do it, the environment that Cam and the twins had provided.

With his shower out of the way he stepped out to dry off, before going over to the sink to shave. Not one of his favourite things to do, but being a navy man, he was well used to it by now. With every stroke of the blade across his skin, that one word keep rebounding around his head, like a poorly aimed bullet… dad. Cam had never once expected him to call him that, but he did, and it stirred up some interesting feelings. Up until recently Cam had thought that he’d never get the chance to be a dad, but then it took him at least that  long, to realize that he already was. A smile broke out on his face, and try as he might, he just couldn’t get rid of it.

He was still smiling when he pulled on a t-shirt and sweats over his white navy underwear, only big fluffy woolen socks were left to complete the lazy ensemble…, but then, who dresses for breakfast these days anyway? Cam knew full well that this Christmas was going to be one to remember. There were several reasons for that, and Carl was right at the top of the list, not too mention the good cheer and even better company last night. The strangest reason however, had nothing to do with any of that, he thought, as he walked over to Carl’s old room. He knocked but heard no answer, so thinking that the room might have been empty, he cracked the door to check. Lying there amongst the many covers was that reason…, Danny.

Lying there sleeping, Danny looked so peaceful, and for the briefest of moments, Cam thought about busting him a little. As brief as it was, the thought was even shorter lived, when Cam remembered the state that the poor guy was in the night before.

*          *          *

It had been quite late when the door bell rung, and Cam had no idea what to expect, but he certainly hadn’t expected to see an almost frozen Danny. The guy was shivering profusely, though the true reason for that wasn’t immediately apparent, and Cam took it to be the cold, and pulled Danny inside to the fireplace to warm up a little. Of course once Danny recognized that he was in the presence of another ranking officer, he immediately began to shake even harder.

After the three fingers of whisky that Cam thrust under his nose, he seemed to calm down a little, but it wasn’t till the Greens left that he started to get comfortable. By that time it was well past midnight, so Cam ushered the boys off to bed. When he came back down, he found Danny sitting on the sofa in the family room, the bottle sitting open in front of him on the coffee table. Cam took position in his favourite stuffed chair, just before Danny spoke to him for the first time, short of pleasantries.

“Merry Christmas Sir…”

“Merry Christmas to you too Danny…, this is certainly a nice surprise…, but what brings you out on a night like this?”

“Um…, ah…, Sir.., this isn’t easy to say…”

“It’s alright Danny…, I don’t bite…”

“That’s what I’m afraid of…” He mumbled, under his breath.

Cam had caught it, but wasn’t at all sure what to do with it. He was a lot of things, but dumb wasn’t one of them …, even if was a little clueless at times. That last subtly mumbled statement had told him more than he ever really wanted to know, and in the ensuing silence, Cam wracked his brains trying to come up with anything that he may have missed in the three years he’d known the young Petty officer. Now that he was thinking about it, there had been signs, a sweet soft, but guarded smile, those lingering touches…, and then the last time, just before that fateful speech at the kids school. He had started to wonder then, but when he had stopped wondering was anyone’s guess.

“I’ve resigned from the Navy Sir…, I put my papers in the day before Christmas break.”

“What?! … Why?” Cam said, the shock evident in his voice.

“Because…, because…, oh my god…, I can’t believe I can’t even say it…”

That much was painfully obvious, and just to fill in the silence again, Cam reached over to refill his glass, doing the same with Danny’s. Cam had been thinking about it, and all that he could up with was that he really hadn’t seen this coming. Danny was a pretty quiet guy, and had never been overly forthcoming about himself, he knew that. That didn’t mean that Cam didn’t know anything about the boy, just nothing really personal. But in all those years of knowing him, he hadn’t seemed depressed, or upset…, or even angry about anything…, he was just Danny.

“Danny it’s late…, and the weathers too bad for you to go anywhere anyway…, we’ve got a spare room upstairs…, you can crash there and we can talk this over in the morning.”

“No thank you Sir…, I have…, I have to get this out before I loose my nerve…, I’m…,  I’m gay…” He said, downing the last of the amber liquid he’d been nursing. “I’m gay Sir…, and I can’t keep living this lie!”

Just like a Mack truck out of the fog, it struck him…, all the signs had been there…, so Cam couldn’t say that that was out of left field. It was still a shock., however,  and it didn’t leave him with much either. He realized that far too late, and he wasn’t quite sure how to proceed. Besides, if what he’d said about handing in his papers was true, then there was nothing official he had to do anyway, but that wasn’t the point. He still didn’t know what to do with it, and Danny was starting to get restless.

“Why are you telling me this…, don’t get me wrong Danny…, I’m honored you feel that you can trust me so much…, but.., I mean if that’s how you feel and you’ve already handed in your papers…, what’s my part in this story?”

“Oh my god what the hell am I doing…, could I have read it wrong…, was he just being nice to me…, oh geez…, I think…” Danny thought, as the tears came…, “I’m going to be sick!”

Danny spent the next half hour in the downstairs bathroom, that was really just a walk in toilet with a sink and a mirror, but it served for what he needed right then. He wasn’t alone either, Cam was right there with him, making sure he was ok. At the end, once Danny had expelled all that he was going to, he was exhausted, so Cam took him upstairs to Carl’s old room and put him to bed. Cam didn’t feel right taking Danny’s clothes off, but he did get rid of the shoes before tucking him in. As he left, with Danny almost out to the world, he heard the words he had been dreading since Danny came out to him…

“I did it for you Sir…, I love you.”


Written by bigct/Octavius

June 8, 2010 at 02:54

9 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Well one thing is for sure, I’m not leaving this desk until chapter 2 is out! ^-^
    The suspense at the end of book 1 and this chapter 1 is rising to a new level…
    I knew Cam would have his well deserved fun with Danny in time, but it looks like “in time” will be stretched out to the limits of pure teasing. The more the better, well done Octavius!


    June 8, 2010 at 03:35

  2. Octavius, what can I say. This starts out, just where you left off. Twiasting and turning the story to keep it fresh and on the edge of our collective seats. Found it wonderful to get more insight to Carls’ thinking. Danny is a complete suprise to me. I guess Cam will have a lot more introspection coming as he deals with Dannys’ and his own feelings. Waiting to see what happens

    Dave Floyd

    June 8, 2010 at 08:51

  3. Well CT the suspence was really getting to me till it was revealed that the person getting out of bed was Carl – glad to say it then flowed quite smoothly as it went on from there.
    Danny, well you left the clue that he may play a very important part in Cams life – now we just needto sit patiently until you reveal the pieces of the jig saw puzzle for us to put together till we manage to put together a clearer picture of what is comming.
    Seems we have much to look forward to.
    Regards Stef


    June 9, 2010 at 00:58

  4. I can tell the change to third person really helped this story. The way you described Carl’s feelings was simply great. I must agree with Dave, the insight look to Carl’s thinking was wonderfull.
    And Cam and Danny, that’s another great turn of events, though unlike Dave, I slightly expected it, since you already put some hints about dave in the story. Still expecting where things will go from now on with Cam and Danny. It may be really interesting.
    Anyway, great chapter, but that cliffhanger is killing me. My life is definitely going to shorten with your and Cody’s cliffhangers 😦


    June 9, 2010 at 08:49

  5. Hello again CT

    Wow, what a great start to book 2. I love the way you changed the stories perspective. I think I’ll really enjoy this story thru the eyes of it’s younger characters.

    Take care


    June 9, 2010 at 14:18

  6. Wow, so what do Carl and Dale do now? They are cousins now and your not suppose to have sex with relatives are you? Does this mean they can’t be boyfriends no more? This seems really unfair to me and I don’t know how that works when your adopted.

    I think Cam might have a new boyfriend to. But why is he quiting the Navy? Can’t you be gay in the Navy? I really like your story, but some is confusing like adopted cousins and boyfriends. I don’t know how that works when you get adopted. I have to go look that up. Hugs JJ


    June 10, 2010 at 07:38

  7. It does not matter that Dale and Carl are cousins, JJ. Straight people who are first cousins are discouraged from marrying and raising children because their DNA(bloodlines) are too close. It may cause birth defects. I have known brothers who were a gay couple before. As far as the military goes, the official policy is “Don’t ask, don’t tell”. It means you have to keep it secret, which is hard to do living in a barracks. Yes, they’re gays in the armed forces. Most don’t come out until they leave the service. I had a friend who was in the Navy. He served on submarines. He had some pretty wild stories to tell about being underwater for months at a time. Needless to say how he spent alot of his free time.


    June 10, 2010 at 11:43

  8. Well worth the wait, absolutely brialliant opening chapter, please keep the chapters coming.

    Danny on Oz

    June 10, 2010 at 13:11

  9. Ah JJ, ‘kissing cousins’ are the very best sort… And yes the services are a little old fashioned, like much of the rest of the world.

    Odd when you consider what the rest of us imagines goes on…

    Great to have this story up and running again, good luck Cam and Danny. I just hope it doesn’t take another 45 chapters for Cam to realise where his heart lies; not that we won’t enjoy them all.



    June 13, 2010 at 04:52

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: