The Sailor's Stories

1043 Chapter forty three – The Sailor’s Awakening.

with 3 comments

The room JJ was in, was not unlike that of most children’s hospitals. There was a large bay window at the end on the farthest wall, providing most of the light and warmth from the mid afternoon Florida sun. It was obviously a room meant for boys, as it was painted a bright blue, with frescoes of happily frolicking cartoon characters adorning the walls…, matched in an almost comical fashion by the ‘Finding Nemo’ bedspread. All of that though, did little to mask the scene that unfolded before our wary eyes. As we stepped up to his bed, JJ was happily smiling, and although it appeared quite genuine, it did little to hide the considerable pain the young man was undoubtedly feeling.

No man is made of stone, no matter how much they may pretend to be. In my line of work, you get to see a lot of what makes a man…., well…, a man. The crucible that is incoming enemy fire, is a great leveler and I’ve seen the toughest of the tough creep into a hole and cry for their mama, while the quiet unassuming ones just get the job done…, we really are strange beings sometimes. So much so, that I’m not ashamed to admit that my emotions got away from me at that first sight. As any decent human being would when confronted with the pain of a loved one…, I couldn’t help it, I just broke down and cried.

What we could see of him, through all the leads, drips, dressings and uncomfortable hospital bed sheets, was like something out of a horror film…, and to be fair I think, would make any man’s heart break. There was barely a patch of his usually bright, soft, and lightly tanned skin that wasn’t covered in obscene bruising. I’ve been there myself a time or two and I have the scars to prove it, but I was glad to see that he wouldn’t, from what I could tell at first glance…, not physically anyway. Young bodies, especially those going through puberty, are pretty resilient things…, as they are constantly in flux anyway, they really can take quite a pounding. Only time would tell if the emotional and psychological ones would heal as well as the physical.

JJ was propped up in bed resting against several pillows, his arms to each side of his slight torso, that up until recently had just started to show some signs of healthy definition, but was now covered in several dressings and bandages. The poor boy was topless displaying to the world the damage that his small almost frail body should not have been able to sustain. It was all too clear as he was laid out in front of us, his bedspread only reaching his lower tummy. I knew that it was to let the air get to his skin…, but that didn’t change the stark reality of it. The room wasn’t cold, I noticed and he didn’t seem to discomforted by the fact that he was half naked.

God he was a mess…, though even then…, with everything he had just gone through…, there was a definite sparkle in his eyes and he certainly seemed glad we were there. They perked up even more, when three large teddy bears were thrust in his direction. His lips were slightly puffy and broken in a few places…, but that didn’t stop him from smiling broadly, showing a strength I really didn’t know he had.

Cabe had pulled a chair up on what would have been the left of the bed, and was grasping JJ’s left hand in both of his, and each of my boys took his right hand for a few seconds…, just saying hi, and letting him know that they were there for him before backing off. When I finally got there for my chance, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing again, I took his hand in mine and pulled up a chair. Looking at him with nothing but the concern one feels when seeing someone they love in pain, I thought sadly that I really did know how he feels…, just that more than anything else made my heart and soul cry out for him.

“How’re you feeling kiddo?”

“It hurts real bad Cam…, but it’s kinda better now you guys are here…, thanks for bringing my daddy.” He said, as a slow tear made a gentle trek down his bruised cheek.

“Anytime kiddo.” I tried to smile reassuringly at him, but I don’t know how successful I was.

At that very moment, in a show of extreme love, all the while displaying a great level of restraint…, Cabe reached out and ever so softly wiped the tear away with the briefest and gentlest of touches with his finger. JJ’s eyes had shot closed as he saw his dad’s hand approach, but once he barely felt it, he looked over at him and smiled warmly. Looking at Caleb, I could almost see the love he had for his son, like it seeped from every pore. If that wasn’t a kodac moment…, nothing in this world could ever possibly have been again.

Caleb was yet to say anything to us, but when he did finally look over at me…, once he was sure that JJ was again settled, his smile was warm strong and genuine. He was a totally different guy from the one I’d put on the plane this morning…, it was as though a peace had befallen him. I can only imagine…, I mean…, like I said, I’ve been close, but never as close as he was to losing a child. Now that he was at his boys bedside, and could see for himself that he was going to be alright…, well, the relief must have been palpable. Just then I felt JJ squeeze my hand a little tighter, and he looked at me for the briefest of moments. I could see a set of determination wash over his face, before he turned to his dad…

“Daddy…, there’s something I have to tell you…”

“JJ.., don’t do it kiddo…, this really isn’t the time….”

“I have to Cam…, Daddy…, I’m…” His eyes closed…, as if his determination was rapidly waning…, but as it turned out, he didn’t need to say anything more.

“I already know baby…, and I don’t care…” As he said this, Caleb brought JJ’s hand up to his face and kissed it gently before he continued…, “James Jasper Green…, you are my son and I love you with all my heart, I…”

He couldn’t finish, with the shock of what JJ had just heard, his eyes had closed slightly in disbelief and his head had shot back at the same feeling. The whole thing would have been really funny, but the pain that spread rapidly across his sweet face, closing his eyes completely in a full blown grimace, put the end to it.

We both held on tight trying to provide as much comfort as we could, and other than the electronic sounds coming off of the various monitors, you could have heard a pin drop, we were all that silent, just waiting him out. But we knew he was over the worst of it, when his eyes opened again, and a collective sigh was right there to greet him.

“I’m so sorry baby…, if I’d have known it would cause that much shock I would’ve said it differently.”

“No daddy…, it’s…, it’s ok…, how…, how long have you known?” JJ asked, before shooting me a quick accusatory glance.

“Hey…, don’t look at me kiddo…, top secret or better here.”


“Hmm…, let’s see…, how old are you?”

I couldn’t believe it…, right there…, in that moment…, Caleb was playing his son like a cheap fiddle. To tell the truth I’d seen this routine many times before…, you could almost think of it as a party trick, Caleb was that good at it. I’ve never seen a man that was able to hold a straight face, all the while playing with you, like he could. In his defense though, I really think he was doing it just to lighten the mood…, or at least I hoped so…

“Come on…, daddy you know I’m fourteen!” He said, with a little huff.

“Fourteen is it…, well then let me see…” He said, with a thoughtful look, as if he was making complex calculations in his head, then smiled softly… “Yup…, I think at least half of that then…”

“DADDY!” JJ said, as he worked out that he’d just been had, but as the mock anger wore off, the surprise returned…, “Really…?”

Caleb didn’t reply at first…, just nodded softly and continued to smile at his boy. A smile that was warmly returned. As the stress of the moment passed, I shook my head and as I did, I noticed that the heart monitor had been spiking…, the beats per minute were coming down, but when I looked over at the nurse manning the desk just outside the door, I saw that we had attracted some attention. That’s when I first laid eyes on the two uniformed police officers waiting at the door. I snapped my fingers to get Cabe’s attention then pointed towards them. Cabe took them in, then turning back to JJ, with another gentle finger move, he brushed a stray hair off of JJ’s forehead and stood…

“I’ll be right back baby…” He said, as he turned to head in their direction.

He wasn’t out there for very long, but it seemed as though the conversation he was having was getting rather heated…, there was a few finger points and some angry body language. All the while, the monitor by the side of JJ’s bed started to spike again and the beats were getting more and more rapid…, I didn’t take too much notice, I was too busy with the strong grip I had on my hand. Cabe had shook his head ‘No’ several times, before finally, as if in defeat, turned to open the door. The two cops followed Cabe back towards JJ’s bed, but you could tell that he wasn’t happy about it.

“JJ these two officers would like to take your statement…, just tell them what they need to know, so they can go about getting their job done.” Cabe said, as he retook his son’s hand.

“Ah excuse me sir…” The older of the two said…, “I think we should do this in private.”

“Daddy no! … I don’t want to be alone…, please…, I want everyone here…”

“It’s ok son…, just say what you have to say…, we’re all here for you.” Cabe said, as he lightly brushed that stray hair again.

“Your daddy’s right pal…, we’re not here to hurt you, we just need to hear your side of the story.”

JJ closed his eyes softly and took a deep breath, it was as if he was rebuilding some of that resolve that he hadn’t had need of earlier. Judging from the state the poor boy’s body was in, I wasn’t really sure I wanted my boys to hear what he had to say, but then I also knew that they would find out eventually anyway. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement, he opened his eyes…, he looked at me briefly, then he turned to his dad with a smile, before his eyes came to rest on the two officers waiting patiently at the end of his bed…

Oh no…, now I have to tell them everything…, how can I tell them what happened…, the cops will think I’m just a little fag…, and the boys will hate me…, shit! I don’t even remember…, all I can think about was how weak I was from the punishment…

God my legs hurt…, how much longer am I gonna have to stand out here…? It wasn’t even my fault! Why did Grierson have to keep me back after history to discuss an essay and why had he forgotten to give me a pass? Now here I am, all alone standing out in the middle of the parade ground…, at full attention…, and it’s getting dark…, I hate the dark!

Oh man…, Greg’s coming…, hopefully he’s here to take me back to my room. I start to tremble a little as he steps closer, I wonder if it’s because I’m cold or that I notice he’s pissed off…, I really hope he’s not pissed at me. As he stops in front of me though, he smiles sort of softly, but it feels almost half hearted. Relaxing as much as I can with sore tired muscles, I wait for him to say something…

“JJ god damnit! … Why do you have to screw up all the time…?”

“I’m sorry Greg…, but it wasn’t my fault…, honest…, Grierson didn’t give me a slip…, I tried telling Bobby but he just wouldn’t listen…”

“Yeah well…, he’s really pissed now…, and worse, you’re on his radar for tonight…., I don’t know if I can stop him this time…, you know how much he likes you…”

“What if we went to a teacher?” I said, my bottom lip shaking a little, with the fear I instantly feel bubbling up inside me.

“It won’t work dude, you know that…, the teachers love him…, and they won’t believe that kinda shit goes on in their school anyway…, besides everyone will be at the Admiral’s tonight…, you know that…, there isn’t time.”

My heart dropped at that news, tonight was the last night that the upperclassman were going to be in the dorms, before they all left for the holidays…, I’d almost made it. I hadn’t been here last year…, but I’d heard the stories…, drunken older kids going at the younger kids. But Greg and I had had a plan, he knew about what was going to happen but he wanted no part of it…, he wasn’t gay, and wasn’t interested in me as a partner, but he did care about me…, and he liked what I could do for him.

I had been feeling really good about myself too…, ever since spending time with dad’s friend Cam and his boys…, they’d kinda opened my world up for me, and for the first time in ages, I was really happy. I thought that with their support, I could make it to at least the end of the year. So as soon as I got back to school I went straight to Greg, and asked him to stop the others from hurting me. It was working too, he’d said that all I had to do was stay under the radar until tomorrow, then I could just slip out. I guess that wasn’t gonna happen now.

“Come on…” He said, as he turned and headed to the dorms.

I followed about two or three steps behind him, marching all the way…, you had to march if you went anywhere on the parade ground. I tell you what though, that walk felt like it lasted forever, and looking back I really wish it had. Every step I took, gave me this unerring feeling of being a condemned man…, like walking that long mile…, you know? And with every one of those cadenced steps, my heart thudded a little louder, as the fear crept up on me…, I really didn’t want to go back there, I just wanted to run and hide.

The dorms were quiet when we entered and the halls were really dark, as if someone hadn’t turned the lights on yet. I thought that was kinda odd, but then I remembered what Greg had said, that the dorm warden would be over at the Admiral’s place. When that realization set in, I knew that I was totally fucked. All too soon, we stepped into the horror that was about to unfold. To get to the rooms proper, you had to go through the large common room, and that’s where it all went down. I guess that with the absence of the warden, the older guys had lost any sense of propriety.

There was only four of them so far, but I was sure there would soon be others, unfortunately for me…,  Bobby was one. Bobby was probably the meanest kid I had ever laid eyes on…, he was massive, easily over six foot tall, and heavy as hell…, I was shit scared of him, as he had a real nasty streak. He and one of the others were sitting on the sofa, their pants down around there ankles, while two of the younger boys from my year were busy servicing them. They must have been at it for some time, as they were down to their underwear. The other two older guys were just sitting there watching while playing with themselves.

I didn’t recognize the other two younger kids…, but it didn’t matter really, because as soon as Bobby saw me come in he just stood up and pulled up his pants. Then like he wasn’t even there, he stepped over the young kid and walked over to me with a sick smile. I think I almost pissed myself, I was that scared, as he walked closer I kept stepping back, trying my best to get away from him. But he just kept coming on…

“Fuck you’re sexy…, strip!” He said.

His words were a little slurry, like he’d been drinking. And as I rapidly searched for a way out, I could see the beer cans strewn over the floor behind the sofa. Thinking quickly I knew that one of two outcomes were possible, either he was too pissed to be a real danger, or he would become an even meaner drunk. My time was up I realized as I backed into a wall. I looked over at Greg, pleadingly with my eyes, but there was little he could do.

“No!” I near screamed.

Just as he lunged…, backhanding me really hard across the face. It hurt so bad I couldn’t stop the tears, then he grabbed my arm and before he took hold of my neck he punched me really hard in the side just below the ribs. I couldn’t stifle the scream this time, as I felt something go really wrong inside me. I think that just turned him on more, he turned me away just before slamming me face first into the wall. I think I screamed again but I can’t remember. All I can remember about that moment was feeling the warmth of his breath as he whispered into my ear…

“You’re tight little ass is gonna feel so good when I slide my hard cock in there…, now take these fucking cloths off…, before I tie you down and do it for you…”

I couldn’t think I was so scared, all I knew was no way in fucking hell! I just reacted. Flicking my foot and the lower half of leg up behind me, I forced the heel of my shoe between his legs, and smacked my head back against his as hard as I could…, thanking all those years of gymnastics training for my flexibility. I heard the roar just before I felt his hands slide down my side. I managed to get a good kick or two in before the other three were on me. The two kids managed to run, as Greg tried to get in and help me.., but the rest is a blur. All I knew after that was waking up here…

Oh shit they’re looking at me…, I better say something…

“It’s alright son.., just take your time…”

“You wanna know what happened…, well…, I guess it was Thursday I think…, I’d been late for prep studies again, and one of the upperclassman was handling my punishment…


Written by bigct/Octavius

May 16, 2010 at 16:01

3 Responses

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  1. CT- It was a very touching scene in the hospital, particularily when JJ was trying to reveal his sexuality – just oozed with emmotion.
    Then we start to find out how this tragedy began – now we are desperatly waiting to find out happened then. I suppose it’s time to be patient and wait.
    Regards Stef


    May 17, 2010 at 13:48

  2. Yeah this had to be hard for JJ to do. I know a couple weeks ago when Mom caught me and Mike I was so scared Dad was going to hate me. I don’t know why i didn’t worry to much about mom, but I didn’t. Dad was the one i was really scared of having find out about us. It was almost like this he wasn’t mad at all. He just asked me and Mike if we was happy and we both said yeah and that was it. Hugs JJ


    May 22, 2010 at 02:53

  3. +OH jj I am so happy for you! Loving parents are the greatest! and Octavius, Needless to say (tweo yeas after you wrote it it still Grabs me!


    May 9, 2012 at 05:30

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