The Sailor's Stories

1028 Chapter twenty eight – The Sailor’s Awakening.

with 10 comments

I Looked down at my nephew, while he rolled over…, so he was able to look at me, more comfortably. I noticed his colour was better this morning…, and his breathing was calmer I saw, looking down at his chest. To tell you the truth, I don’t know if that was a good sign or not…, I was desperately hoping it wasn’t simple resignation. Taking hold of his hand, I gave it a gentle squeeze…, just before he climbed up into my arms. We stayed like that, for several minutes, so he could adjust to the morning. With his arms still around my neck, his mind came into focus, as he backed off a little. He swung his head around…, taking in the scene. With a very audible sigh, he kinda deflated sliding backwards, his head coming to rest on his pillow. I just took hold of his hand again, as he looked back up at me…, his expression was difficult to read. So many things were flashing through his mind, as his face shifted this way and that…, uncertainty, intrigue, anger, guilt…, then the one he settled on…, concern. With his free hand, he reached down to scratch, before he looked over at the clock on his nightstand. The concern grew in him as he shot a glance back in my direction.

“Shit! … Uncle Cam…, why aren’t you dressed? … You’re gonna be late for work!”

“Don’t sweat it little guy…, it’s all taken care of…, I am gonna take a shower though, and you should too…, we have that thing today.”

“Yeah…, I guess. Do I…, do I really have to go?” He said, almost pleading.

“Not if you don’t want to…, I’m not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to do…, but I really think that you should…, you’ve got some things going on in your head, that I just can’t help you with…, well not unless I get you drunk…, and laid…”

His eyes lit up for a moment, and in that moment I knew there was indeed still hope. He may be still in considerable pain…, but every now and then, I caught glimpses of the old Corey. My heart soared for a moment…, realizing that those glimpses were becoming more and more frequent.

“… hey don’t get your hopes up buddy…, that ain’t gonna happen! … Not for many years yet anyways.”

He may have been pouting, but the almost grin was still there…, then he threw me…

“Did you clean my room?”

“Yeah…, um, I kinda did…, old habits die hard I guess…”

“It looks…, nice…, I kinda like it this way.”

A shot of mirth filled concern, flew across my face, as I reached over and felt his forehead…

“Nope no temperature…, I think the boy actually means it! We definitely need that headshrinker now!”

“Stop it Uncle Cam…” He said with a slight giggle, and an almost smile.

I had no idea if it would work…, but…, things were going so well this morning, I let instinct take over. As he giggled, I reached down, placing my hands either side of his firm little abdomen…, and tickled the hell out of him. He started squirming immediately…, and the giggles started anew…

“Oh god no! …. Please stop…., Uncle Cam…, I gotta PEEEEE!!!!”

As soon as I stopped he jumped away from me…, out of my reach, and smiled. Little shit may have had to go, but for the moment he was reveling in his trickery. I let him have his moment, as I stood up to leave…

“Take a shower and get dressed kiddo…, I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.” I said, as I looked over my shoulder. “And clean that shower, while you’re in it…, it looks like a science experiment gone wrong!”

I didn’t have to look back to see that he was sticking his tongue out at me…, I could hear it well enough. Things were definitely looking up, but I wasn’t about to let my guard down again. I was determined that he would see that headshrinker. Even if I had to bribe him to do it, I knew all to well what would happen if I let him fester any longer…, I had personal experience on the issue.

Climbing into my own shower, letting the warm water sooth my weary body, I couldn’t help but smile. At least he was responding now…, he was almost his old self. I still wasn’t sure how far into the woods we were, but at least I could see daylight. I just hoped that nothing would trigger a relapse, before I could get him the help that he, so dearly, needed. I had kinda meant that whole thing about, getting him drunk and laid. I can remember having to do that several times in my career…, and if he was older, I probably would have given it a try. You would just not believe the effect that can do to a man’s morale. Mind you, thinking about it, I was pretty much prepared to give anything a try…, I just wanted my boy back whole again. Toweling off, I walked naked into my room…, I noticed that, over on the dresser, my wallet had moved, and there was a note on it….

“Uncle Cam,

Took $50 for lunch and movie. Back by 1400. Call my cell if you need us, or want us to stay away longer. Give Corey a hug from us.

Love you,

Dale & Carl.”

Those boys! So very thoughtful, I thought…, as I folded the note and placed it in the wallet. I pulled on some fresh underwear, a polo, some khaki cargos, and a blue hoodie. As I sat to put on socks and boots, I could hear the faint sounds of Corey’s shower. I hope he’s cleaning it as well! I thought, as I got up to go make breakfast. I had oatmeal, toast, and orange juice on the table when Corey came into the kitchen, about ten minutes later. I was tucking in myself, as he sat down. I noticed he had dressed pretty decent for the occasion, with a nice shirt, a good pair of jeans, and his most decent hoodie…, I really should take him shopping before school…, in fact I should probably take the both of them. I didn’t need to worry about Carl, as he was pretty good to go, though I should get him a few things anyway…, just in case.

It wasn’t long before we were pulling up outside the headshrinker’s office. She had come highly recommended, by the guy I had been seeing…, and as I gave the place a quick appraisal, I was beginning to see why. Her name was Dr. Karen Fredrickson…, a coincidence I was sure. It was obvious from the very start, that she only dealt with children. Her offices were in a converted house, not far from one of the main hospitals. As we walked up the path, I saw a decent swing-set in the well tended yard…, and to my surprise, a small sandbox, full of toys. When we stepped inside, it was like walking into a family room…, there was a big-screen TV in the corner, showing cartoon network…, sofas, and a few scattered toys on the plush rug. The walls were festooned with comic-book superhero posters, and a few girly ones as well. Stepping up to the reception desk, I caught a look from Corey…, I think he thought this was a bit kidish for him, but I pressed on. It’s not that I thought that I knew better, I just knew there was some things I couldn’t help him with…, I really hoped this doctor could.

We were right on time it seemed, as the previous patient was just leaving her office. When she stepped out, I was shocked to see how young she was…, can’t have been that much younger than me…, I thought docs were supposed to be old! She was tall with long light brown hair…, and very slim. To be honest I was beginning to have second thoughts. Corey, however, seemed to perk up at the sight, and willingly went with her into the room. I filled out a few forms…, all the while the receptionist, kept giving me the eye…, I even caught her looking where she shouldn’t. Resigned, I just sat on the furthest sofa…, I had my back to her, as her flirtatious glances had started to make me feel quite uncomfortable. What the hell? … She’s not bad looking…, holy shit…, maybe I am gay? I couldn’t get that out of my mind…, as I waited, watching the hands on the clock tick over.

Looking at my watch, I thought that a replay of Sports Center might be on…, and considered asking if the channel could be changed. But then, that would mean talking to the receptionist again…, I really didn’t have the time, or the inclination, to even begin to prepare myself for that. So instead I just sat back and let my mind wander. Thinking about it, I started to realize how long it had been, since I had had a girlfriend…, it was over a decade. In fact…, if I was to be truly honest, I hadn’t had a real girlfriend since high school. I mean, I had had a few onenighters here and there, but the most of it was…, Mark…

“Excuse me sweety…, are you alright?”

“Huh?” It was the receptionist…, she was undressing me with her eyes again…, I tried hard to suppress the shudder of revulsion I was feeling. “Oh…, yeah I’m fine…, is my nephew done?”

“Almost sugar…, the Doctor wants to have a word with you.”

“Thanks.” I said, getting up.

When I stepped into the office, I was amazed at how different it was, from my own experience. The walls were decorated the same as the waiting room…, in the corner there was a large box of toys…, and…, there was no desk. The far wall was lined with bookcases and she was sitting in a plush armchair. As she looked up, I saw that while reading over some notes, she was wearing glasses…, she had that kinda sexy “School Librarian” thing going on… Hmmm…, still not interested…, what the hell is wrong with me? She indicated that I should sit down on the sofa. When she slid off her glasses, I couldn’t help but notice her eyes…, they were a piercing blue…, I had seen those eyes before…

“Do you prefer Commander…, or Mister?”

“Ah ‘Cam’ is fine, ma’am.”

She had a bit of giggle at that…, an all too familiar giggle…, she can’t be…, can she?

“Your nephew is playing outside…, I thought we should have a little chat before I schedule any more sessions.”

“Is it that bad ma’am?”

“Please don’t call me that…, it makes me feel so very old.”

“Sorry ma’am.”

“Karen is fine…, I’m very informal here…, makes the kids more comfortable…, so about your nephew…”

Over the next twenty minutes or so we discussed several things. Obviously she didn’t divulge anything that they had talked about, especially private things…, though she did ask me some very leading questions. I felt for his sake that I should leave nothing out. After seeking her permission, I told her about what I used to do for a living…, I wasn’t overly explicit, just enough so she got the gist…, and all the events of the summer that directly affected Corey. I even explained what I had seen and done on the Marneus, and…,  what it had done to him. I forged on, with the after affects, including that I was sleeping in his room, because it made him feel safer. I had been a little nervous on that point, so I made sure to explain that we were always clothed, and, that I was never under the covers with him…, she didn’t even bat an eyelid. All through my telling, she had remained silent…, except for one or two questions here and there. I was so wrapped up in my own guilt, that I hadn’t even noticed that she was taking notes. Afterwards, when I had finished speaking, I looked up at her…, I don’t know what I was expecting…, an accusatory look perhaps? Instead what I got was something I was certainly not expecting. She had sort of scrunched her face up a little, in concentration…, but when she saw me watching her, she slipped into a warm smile…, all so familiar…

“Well I can certainly see where that boy gets his character from…, he is strong resilient and forthright…, just like his uncle.” She said with a warm smile. “I can see that you feel guilty, and I’ll be honest, to a certain extent you are…, but only by misfortune…, you could never have predicted what happened…, you need to stop beating yourself up over it.”

She was looking at me more closely now…, I guess trying to discern how I would react to that statement. It was weird…, she was kinda looking straight into me…, as if…

“He’s a good kid Cam..,. what he saw, and what he watched you do, is going to leave a scar…, but he loves you dearly…, that much is certain…, he is just very confused right now…, though with a little work I think we can get him through it. I want to see him again, for a few more sessions…, can you arrange that?”

“If it helps him sure…, but I don’t think he was too keen on it.”

“We had a good one today…, I think he has come around to the idea.”

She went over to the sliding glass door, that made up one of the walls…, I could only assume to call Corey back inside. Before she got too far I stopped her…

“I’m sorry if this seems rude…, but…, I couldn’t help but notice your name…, Fredrickson…, is that a married name?”

“As you’re the guardian of a new patient…, I don’t see the harm in humouring you for a moment…, no…, it’s my family name…, why do you ask?”

I could see that I was going to have to be very careful here…, she was eyeing me extremely closely now…, hiding it well, but close all the same. She would, I knew from past experience, make a very effective interrogator. She just had the right mix of interest and disinterest…, it was very unnerving.

“It’s just that I knew someone, with that name…, a while ago…, he also had blue eyes of a very similar shade…, I thought maybe…, well I guess I thought you might have been related, or something…, but I know he didn’t have a sister…, so maybe not…”

I thought I caught a glimpse of recognition there…, but true to form so far, she was holding things in pretty well…

“Do you mind if I ask how you knew him…”

“We went to school together, lived on the same street even…, then later served together a few times…, he was a very close friend. I was pretty cut up when I lost him…, you just seem so familiar…, kinda like him in so many ways…, to be honest it’s sorta scary.”

This time her guard slipped, and I saw the shock and recognition on her face…

“What…, what was his name?” She almost stuttered.

“Mark…, Mark Fredrickson…”

When I said his name I watched, as a tear started to build up in her eye…, then trace a slow steady path down her cheek. She shuddered ever so slightly, raising her hand to cover her mouth, just as a small gasp escaped…

“Oh my god…, I should have guessed…, I just never put navy and Cam together until now…, you’re his Cam…, aren’t you?”

She came back towards me smiling…, as the tears began to stream down her face. As she approached she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I was caught definitely off guard by this, and I had no idea how to handle it. But then, I didn’t have to for long…, as she stepped back and took a long look at me…, all over again.

“I can certainly see what he saw in you…, Mark was my cousin…, my favourite cousin actually, even though we didn’t see much of each other…, but he used to write me all the time…, he told me all about you…, about what you did for him…, he really loved you.”

“Karen I’m so sorry…, I knew there was a cousin, but I never knew her name…, if I’d known it was you, I never would have mentioned it…”

“Don’t be silly…, I’m really glad you did.”

“What does this mean for Corey.., isn’t it a conflict of interest or something?”

“Not at all…, just means you get the family discount…”


“Nope…, but I will take care of him for you…, like I said he’s a good kid, just needs to deal with a few things. We should have dinner some time…, I would really like to talk to you some more…, in a less formal setting that is.”

“I guess ‘Smartass’ runs in the family then?”

The only answer I got was a hearty chuckle, as she went over to the door, and called Corey. As he came in I noticed he was smiling…, a definite improvement. On the way out, I slipped the doc my number, and then set up two more sessions with the receptionist. When we stepped out the door, I swear I could feel the receptionist tearing my pants off…, but then I couldn’t help but, burst out laughing as I heard…

“He’s not your type Carrie…”

I didn’t hear anything else, as the door closed firmly shut behind me. It didn’t matter anyway, as my mind was solely on Corey…, I knew that this sort of thing couldn’t be sorted in one session, but he was certainly happier…, that much was obvious, as he was complete with a big shit eating grin…

“So…, how’d it go little man?”

“Pretty good…, I saw the way she looked at you…, she’s really cute…, don’t you think? … I kinda like her.”

“Get in the car, smartass…, or if you’re not careful, I’ll ask her for some hormone blockers or something.”

We both burst out laughing…, it was good to hear, and my heart swelled. Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea after all…


Written by bigct/Octavius

January 22, 2010 at 12:34

10 Responses

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  1. This one did my head in. I did like the twists you threw to us … Thanks C.T. I enjoyed it


    January 22, 2010 at 15:48

  2. I can’t thank you enough for this. This chapter is just what I needed after a really rough week. You have a gift, CT. Thanks for sharing it with us. I am sitting here with tears pouring down my face.


    January 22, 2010 at 22:54

  3. What a great and moving story!
    Just saw your website from your comment on “A Rent-Boy Named…” earlier today, and I went through all 28 chapters non-stop, and glad that I did! Action and Emotion go well together in your story. Nice introduction of a new important character in Cam’s life in this chapter, but I wonder if the mostly asexual Cam will eventually find his own love companion: It must be frustrating for him to see Dale and Carl in a happy relationship, please don’t let him suffer for too long… ^-^


    January 23, 2010 at 04:06

    • Hey mate,

      Thanks for the comment, I’m glad you like it.

      By the way…, we’ll see.



      January 23, 2010 at 10:39

  4. OK, I am reading your story for some time, but never really get into comment. Let me say it’s very interesting story and Cam is very interesting character and so are his boys. I have only one complaint, I don’t really like these war scenes. Yes, in some cases they were necessary to portray what character Cam is, but in most cases, I feel they are not necessary and are pushing the story to where I don’t really like it, to some bloody war story.
    And I agree with Chimel Cam needs some love. But before that, he needs to realize what his sexuality is or he will never be happy in his life. But I doubt that Navy headshrinker will help him with this. He needs civilian headshrinker or even better, sexuologist 😉


    January 23, 2010 at 12:57

    • Hey chap…

      I appreciate your comment…, and your opinion. What you have to understand though, is that, that is who he is. I mean I could have done a lot more, and I still might…, but bare in mind, that I deliberately left a lot of the gory details out. I know that kind of thing is not for every one, and the last thing I want to do is alienate my readers. I’m sorry that you aren’t into that bit, I really am, but like you said, it is necessary. If you’ve ever spent any time, around someone who has been there…, as I have, and at times was myself, then you will understand why I write the way I do.

      I don’t say that to give you grief mate, like I said, I really do appreciate that you read, and took the time to comment. I just thought I should explain it a little for you. You said yourself, that it was good to show what he was. I have just taken it a step further.

      This is not a war story, but it’s not a love story either. It’s a story about a guy struggling to find himself. I don’t know if Cam will find his special someone, at least in this novel any way…, though I am pretty sure he will find himself. Like I said in an earlier post, I plan on at least a follow up to this one…, so who knows.

      I hope you keep reading, and never feel that you can’t disagree with something.

      Courage and Honour!



      January 23, 2010 at 13:09

  5. Great story, BigCT. May I call you BigCT? Or is there something better? I wondered over from RB and pretty much read the book through.

    Hmm, from the beginning Cam has denied, to the max, being gay. Bullshitting himself? Who knows. One thing for sure – he sure loves Mark.

    Now Cam meets Mark’s much loved, attractive, and very similar cousin, Karen…

    Whew, who knows where this could go. Could make for a really nice nuclear family.

    But she’s a girl. Ya know? Aw darn. I guess it’d be ok. Ole Reggie can’t last forever, I suppose. It just seems that Mom, Dad and three kids would be kinda a boring ending, huh?

    Well, I’ve got great faith in ya, manno. This is a most excellent story. Thanks.


    January 25, 2010 at 18:00

  6. Unfortunately , I am now caught up with your posts and will have to wait for the next one. We have a new avenue to explore and I’m sure you will. I disagree that the flashbacks on the military action are wrong – they are making the story what it is. I also disagree that this is not a love story as there is love in every chapter, and in every character, and surely in Cam’s case it was not boy hood curiosity. What it is not – It is not a sex story nor a porn post. I can’t believe some of the parallels to my own life. I have read many novels in the past year and this one certainly is the best of them all and That is really saying something. You (at the risk of being redundent) are a brilliant, gifted, talented, and natural author. I trust this story will continue for a long, long, time.


    January 25, 2010 at 18:31

  7. While as you know I’m not a huge fan of war or violence, it’s place in your story is extremely necessary to fully explain who Cam is. If we didn’t have his back story how would ever understand the present day Cam. Your Cam is a complicated person whose past is still coloring his day to day life.

    Your characters are still dead on, never wavering from who they are. No false notes, no WTF moments, perfect, perfect, perfect. But would I expect anything less from you, no.


    January 31, 2010 at 21:51

  8. Amazing how many people see things they like / don’t like/ agree with /don’t agree with/ but all and I agree that your writing nis beyond good!
    Greetings from the Caribbean


    May 6, 2012 at 12:20

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